Tag Archives: Oscars 2011

Getting Real about Cheetos & Cheeseballs

 

Q: What do you get when you cross a multiracial children’s choir, sparkly mock turtlenecks and the only person Al Gore could have defeated in the 2004 Presidential election?

only xxxl t-shirts for these unfortunate children

 

I left the set of General Hospital to say 3 lines at the Oscars

A: Oh the 2011 Academy Award snoozefest…

I wanted to like it but I just didn’t.  Am I wrong here?  There were way too many attempted moments lost on me to count, but I’ll try below:

1. Where was Ricky Gervais? (Waiting for Superman)

2. Can I get a redo starring Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin? (Hello Emmys)

3. Who was the hysterical old guy with the cane who presented Melissa Leo with her Supporting Actress award and why was he not given more airtime? (#Viagra)

4. The sexual tension between Justin Timberlake aka Banksy and Mila Kunis is killing me.  Loved her dress btw.

5. Those were the 4 best songs of the year – REALLY?

6. Was I the only one left wondering where the cast of Glee was during all this? (See number 2)

7. Props to Rachel Zoe who kept me watching, it didn’t matter what Anne or Franco had to say, because it wasn’t much, just give me more dresses, k thanks.

8. Producers sink to new low with Franco in drag and a random autotune remix of Ron Weasley and Jacob without a shirt (fyi – Twilight was not nominated and this is not the MTV movie awards or is it?).

9. Um did I just blink and see Obama on the screen?! (And the Oscar in editing goes to…)

10. The King’s Speech speech playing over all the nominee clips – pretty much took the guessing out of anything.  Booorrrringgg.  Like when Natalie Portman told us who the father was.

11. 5th Graders singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”.  Hello Cheese, Cheesy, Cheeseballs and Firey Hot Cheetos.  Can I get hot sauce on those?

12.  Oh yeah, my madelines were fucking incredible.  Night y’all.

 

WINKLEVOSS!!! Note: Just found out Armie Hammer is not actually a twin

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Katie, TV

Getting Real about Natalie Portman winning the Oscar this year

You may have been wondering what ever happened to Natalie Portman?

hello nightmares


Let’s go back in time to the early 2000s when Portman was queen of the indie film scene. Starring in cult classics like Garden State, Closer, V for Vendetta and the short film Hotel Chavelier opening for the Darjeeling Limited where Wes Anderson let Jason Schwartzman live out the ultimate JewBro fantasy of getting Nat to your hotel room wearing nothing but a bathrobe.

Then in 2007, “Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium” happened and so began Portman’s demise. Earning an embarrassing 37% on Rotten Tomatoes, a reviewer from the Associated Press commented “Wake me when it is over”.

Career Suicide


Thank god this Harvard grad was smart enough to take a hint, realizing that starring in G-rated movies does not earn you any street cred with notable directors.

Enter Darren Aronofsky, who has a history of reviving the careers of washed-up actors*. Aronofksy casts Portman as the lead role of Nina in Fox Searchlight’s Black Swan. Nina is a principal ballerina with the New York City ballet. She lives with her obsessive ex-ballerina mother who pushes her to not eat and practice plies for hours. Nina is in contention for the lead ballerina in Swan Lake, but the newest addition to the company, Lily (played by Mila Kunis), is winning over everyone’s hearts including the company director who Portman may or may not be sleeping with.

Anyways just watch the trailer… p.s. it is terrifying and you will have effed up dreams about ballerinas

Black Swan opened the Venice Film Festival yesterday to a standing ovation and rave reviews from critics across the board predicting this film will earn Portman her first Oscar. The film is in contention for the Grand Lion which Aronofsky won last year with The Wrestler. Fox Searchlight will release Black Swan in the U.S. on December 1st.

A few things I thought about after seeing this trailer.

Is it a coincidence that Mila is dating Macaulay Culklin who once played the Prince in the New York City ballet’s production of the Nutcracker?
Do actresses love starring in dance movies b/c they have an excuse for getting freakishly skinny?
Do you think Natalie Portman still listens to The Shins?

*see Mickey Rourke in the Wrestler, then see Mickey Rourke with his Oscar

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Filed under Film, Katie