Tag Archives: GQ

Getting Real about bay area style

In this month’s issue, GQ has named San Francisco the 20th Worst Dressed City in America. Quite frankly I’m surprised we didn’t crack the top 10. You know why we get this ranking? No it’s not the hipsters running around the mission wearing holey tights or mom jeans (I blame American Apparel for this).
It’s the people who dress in “gear” instead of clothes. You aren’t thinking about style — whether an outfit matches, or is flattering, but your pants have more pockets than any human could possibly need during the work day. Oh and your t-shirt has special wicking properties that keep you dry and odor free.
What lies at the heart of this performance driven “style”? Cargo pants. I’ve hated cargo pants since middle school when I would see boys stuff them full with pencils, papers, calculators, you name it. I thought it looked ridiculous. And since the universe has a sense of humor I ended up working at a startup in the Bay where about 70% of the guys wear cargo pants on a daily basis. A few months ago I came across a blog devoted to cargo pants. This blog had a post about cargo pants with pockets designed to house iPads. Are.you.kidding.me? The best part was, several pants were tested and rated and the overall conclusion was

“Bottom line? You should keep your iPad in a case and use tactical pants for iPad 2 storage in emergency situations only”

Emergency situations?!? Why would there be any situation where you need to store an iPad in your pocket? The reviews are talking about how well the iPad fits, whether it might fall out or potentially get scratched and no one is mentioning how absolutely absurd it looks. How about situations where you don’t want to look like a total geek? Orrr situations where you want to be able to say…walk comfortably, which I think would be hard to do with that thing shoved in your pocket?
Last fall I went to Madrid with a fashionista friend from Oakland who had never been to Europe. She said to me, I just can’t believe how people dress here, it’s like what you see in fashion magazines. In the bay people don’t dress like that. Yes the aesthetic here is more Patagonia catalogue, less Vogue.
And I get it, these clothes are very useful and serve a purpose in the outdoors. But we are in the city people. This is the urban jungle. Trade in those Merrells for some heels, or a pair of ballet flats. Don’t worry you will not be kidnapped, helicoptered and dropped in the middle of the wilderness unexpectedly. Stop thinking about high performance and start thinking about aesthetics. Guys, I know you think those zip off pants are practical, but you practically have zero chance of picking up a girl if you wear those to the bar. Something to think about.


Filed under Fashion, Flora, Style

Getting Real about the GQ Glee cover

The new GQ featuring the highly controversial Glee cast photo spread hits the news stand today. The Parent Television Council (why does this council even exist?) was quick to denounce the photos immediately stating that, “it is disturbing that GQ, which is explicitly written for adult men, is sexualizing the actresses who play high school-aged characters on ‘Glee’ in this way” and boldly claimed that these photos border on pedophilia. Katie Couric is “disappointed” (which by the way is waaaay worse than pissed), that chick that used to be on Hanging with Mr. Cooper who is now on “The Talk” (the poor man’s “The View”) was upset about the example these women are setting for her 8 year old daughter. In her home they watch the show together as a family, and her daughter really looks up to these cast members.

First of all, why is your 8 year old watching a show about high school kids? I mean have you seen the show? Didn’t catch any adult themes in there that might be a little inappropriate for an 8 year old? “Push It” dance sequence anybody? Dry humping? No? Just because there is singing involved doesn’t mean it’s kid friendly. The Rocky Horror Picture Show has songs in it, but do you want to get into a conversation about what a “pelvic thrust” is with your 8 year old? Didn’t think so. (p.s. so excited for the Rocky Horror Glee Show episode tonight!)

Secondly, why are we still relying on young starlets to be role models for our kids? Because Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears did such a stellar job? These women are trying to make a career for themselves, not reinforce some moral code you have deemed proper for your offspring. Everybody knows this is the trajectory for young Hollywood: unknown –> big deal –> skanky photo shot –> controversy –> even bigger deal –> (from here on there is some variation). It’s a little sad that Sharon Osbourne came out as the voice of reason pointing out that GQ is a high end men’s fashion magazine, it’s not for your kids to be reading. It’s not altogether shocking to see scantily clad women gracing the cover. Hand your kids the newest issue of Tiger Beat and let’s move on people.

Perhaps I would feel differently if I had children. That I do not know. What I do know is it is not my place to be policing another woman’s sexuality and how she chooses to put it on display. I will say the Lea Michele’s crotch shot was an image I could’ve gone without seeing, but hey. I just don’t think the media is focusing on the REAL issues here, like:

-why is Cory Monteith fully clothed in all the pics, can a girl see some abs at least?
-scratch that, where are Mike Chang’s abs?

-will I ever see Mr. Shuester’s abs?
-since when do we wear white knee socks with heels?
-why is Lea Michele so obnoxious? Notable quotables include:

“I don’t know how they got me to do half the stuff I did…but I was in really good shape this summer, so…” (and by good shape I mean so skinny I now resemble a bobble head)

“”I was one of the only girls in my high school that didn’t get a nose job…and if anybody needed it, I probably did. But my mom always told me, growing up, ‘Barbra Streisand didn’t get a nose job. You’re not getting a nose job.’ And I didn’t. F– those people.” (wow you are so BRAVE…I give her maybe 2 more years, she’ll cave…and then she’ll deny it like Ashlee Simpson).


Filed under Flora, Sex, TV