Getting Real about excessive high fives

The high five is a celebratory hand gesture that occurs when two people simultaneously raise one hand, about head high, and push, slide or slap the flat of their palm against the palm of their partner.


It has come to my attention, especially working in an office that is brimming with testosterone that high fives are used in an excessive and indiscriminate manner. Bad joke: high five. Well-timed “that’s what she said” : high five. Simply entering a room: high five. And I’m expected to participate in this and have to deal with a disapproving look when I refuse to high five over opening a can of soda successfully. For years I’ve been giving half-hearted high fives because I didn’t want to explain myself. But no more! Honestly people, have some standards for your high fives!

Maybe I’m being a little over the top but I think years of unsatisfying or downright unsuccessful high fiving has scarred me. Do you know how many times my older brother pulled the “too slow” move on me? Just witnessing an attempted high five that is left hanging makes me want to cringe let alone being involved in this sort of exchange. And then there are the unenthusiastic high fives where I feel like I’m slapping a dead fish. Why even bother?

This is why I’m sticking to my guns. If I’m greeting you, I’ll give you a smile, a nod, a wave. Maybe upgrade to a hug if I like you and you seem comfortable with it. If I want to acknowledge a good zing, I’ll shout out a “whaaaaaaaaaaa” or if I feel the need to make contact, a fist bump will do. But let it be known, it’s gonna take some work to get a high five out of this girl.

150 Comments

Filed under Flora

150 responses to “Getting Real about excessive high fives

  1. Lee

    The backhand high five is the new high five. Plus, it looks like you’re telling the other person off a bit.

    But if you want to perfect your high fives, look at the other person’s elbow when you high five them. You will hit the mark with a resoundingly loud slap every time!

    • As someone who has embarrassed herself by missing a high five on a number of occasions, I was very grateful to learn the elbow rule!

    • My high fives have gotten infinitely better because of that! The problem is that one time someone told me the secret was “elbow contact” (meaning eye contact with the person’s elbow) but I interpreted that to mean that your elbow was touching the other person’s elbow, and when my friend and I tried that, we wound up slapping each other in the face. Moral: High five at your own risk.

    • Good tip on looking at the elbow…I’ll have to try that. I am a terrible high-fiver. I always end up sideswiping the other person’s hand. But I totally agree with this post. Excessive high fives are so annoying. Ditto for excessive fist bumping.

  2. I think it’s best to stick to handshakes. Gotta keep it real. Plus, you can tell a lot by a person’s handshake: Especially if they have weak, minky, sweaty fingers.

    Here are some tips in case you fall in that category: http://www.etiquetteinternational.com/Tips/handshake.aspx

    Read it, Memorize it, Live it.

    • “minky, sweaty fingers”??? I’m equally repelled by the very thought, and strangely attracted to the evocative word choice. Disturbing…quite disturbing.

  3. My dog Punkin printed out your blog and wants me to teach her how to high paw (canine to human equivalent to the human to human high five)

    Thanks for a fun post on this pre-weekend day! Congrats on being Freshly High-Fived, I mean Freshly Pressed!!

    Blessings,

    Ava
    xox

  4. lol, love it! Way to hold some standards to an important interaction.

  5. I’m waiting for the day when chestbumps begin to take over. To which most people will reply “whaaaaaaaaaaaaa”

  6. All County Insurance - Brea, California

    Good post. I am a little sick of High 5’s at the moment myself. The original High 5 is never even used anymore. It usually involves a few more moves now and it’s hard to know which ones to do with which people. It ends up looking like you’re playing rock paper scissors with the person. I think High 5’s in general are good for morale in the work place and show a bit of team work but when they’re 5’ing over a coke being opened…too much.

    I have the same feeling about hugs that you have with High 5’s though. There have been too many times that my outstretched arms have been looked at awkwardly as if to say “You tryin’ to hug me?” That I just don’t try and do it anymore. I don’t like it and they make me feel vulnerable. I don’t really like to be touched.

    I think that handshakes are the best way to go but don’t get me wrong I’m not the type to show off how ‘professional’ or ‘manly’ I am by how hard I can squeeze another person’s hand, I think that’s stupid.

  7. I prefer the groin chop, myself.

    But I don’t do it very often, only because in some cultures it’s frowned upon.

  8. Oh girl, I’m sorry to hear you are against the high-fives. I love them – with my co-workers and with my kids. I don’t think I’ve had the unfortunate experience you have with the ‘opening a can of soda successfully’ though or I might be joining you in the crusade!

    Great blog. Congrats on being FP!

  9. Personally the only time I high five is when I’m walking down the street and for some reason a stranger pulls one on me, I mean, you’ve gotta have some courage to be anonymously doing that to strangers on the street, they totally deserve it back!
    Believe it or not this actually happens a lot more than you think!

  10. Kenton Lewis

    Thanks for writing this and thanks for all those who high five just because they had a good movement. Without idiots where would we be? How would me me entertained. Nicely written and great observation.
    KL

  11. With the opposite gender, I often employ the high five greeting as an enthusiastic alternative to the side hug. It’s a strictly platonic way to say, “HEY! I’m excited to see you!”

  12. Sandrina

    So well put! Now I’m left wondering if it would be appropriate to *high-five* you right now…better not!

    *fist bump*

    Thanks for keeping it real!

  13. Okay I thought that stuff only happened in How I Met Your Mother, not the real world.

    This is disheartening news regarding the future of humanity.

  14. i agree with jamie^…lol. great and an unusual post..i like it!

  15. bellabeam

    Loved it !

  16. Pingback: Getting Real about excessive high fives (via Getting Real Record) « A Bit of Everything

  17. Kita

    Best post ever.

  18. myblogject

    Totally agree with all of above. scared for not getting it reciprocated, or way way way too overused!

  19. I love this not-high-five-worthy post! Hysterical!
    And congrats on being freshly pressed–equally not high-five-able! That’s so yesterday!
    Kathy

  20. I’ve accidentally missed giving this guy a high five and ended up slapping his face back in high school.

  21. Does a Freshly Pressed nod deserve a virtual high five? Cuz I just sent one your way — don’t leave me hanging…

    Fun post — thanks for sharing!

    🙂

  22. High five or no high five, I agree with the lady, things we do have just become so mechanic, lost every sense of purpose, soon we’ll giving high five to ourselves for putting our right foot in front of our left foot…it is getting ridiculous…

    Anyway, congrats on making it to the freshly pressed, come by my blog when you get the chance 🙂 Won’t bother you with excessive high fives, I promise 🙂

  23. TackiestOnes

    Woah woah woah. How do you feel about fist bumps?

  24. All hand-contact greetings are inappropriate. Does everybody wash their hands after the loo? A smile and/or bow is suitable. When China rules Earth will the Chinese drop handshaking and just bow again, and decree the rest of us do the same if we desire to associate? Ideal if so! We (Euro culture types) USED TO bow. What happened? A nod is enough really.

  25. LOL sorry but this is hillerious!!! I think the worst kind of *hand congratulation* is when people have like three or four moves to get through the whole slap then punch then click then whoosh back past their ear, Now that is most definately a cringe worthy moment LOL great post though its started my day with a smile!

  26. “And then there are the unenthusiastic high fives where I feel like I’m slapping a dead fish.” lol that made me laugh because I know exactly what you are talking about there.

    Its funny to me how some people forget the point of a high five if you do it with low energy for every little thing it just doesn’t quite feel right. Often times I give a little fist bum or something for some low key situations.

    But in general I only high five when something exciting just happened. It just feels better that way can’t quite explain it.

    Nice post.

  27. I really like the passion going on here. Passion in simple things is great. This post made me laugh.

  28. Oh, don’t be stingy with the High 5s. The best way to avoid Oh Too Slows! is to proffer the High 5 first yourself. Enthusiastic High 5s, sarcastic High 5s, timid High 5s, whatever. They all have their own time and place. Loosen up!

  29. Girl after my own heart!
    I am ashamed to admit it, but my husband, sadly, falls into the waaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy too excessive use of high-fives. I have told him bazillions of times that I’m really not so fond of them. And yet. He consistently pulls one out over dinner to celebrate a funny joke. And another one at a good comment made on TV.

    I even sat him down and had him watch the Seinfeld episode where Putty has the high-five disease. Do you know what he did? Exactly.

    “That was a great episode.” *high-five*

  30. Okay, so I’m ashamed to admit, but I’m a little bit of a high five junkie. But I swear I only do it in the presence of other high five fanatics. I rarely instigate the high fiving, but I will never leave anyone hanging either.

    I think the blame for this High Five Revival can be partly placed on Neil Patrick Harris’s character, Barney, from How I Met Your Mother.
    Funny, funny post… Thanks for giving me a laugh.

  31. realanonymousgirl2011

    Yes! Don’t give in. Stick to your guns!

  32. Personally, I’m trying to bring back the high five as retro in my neck of the woods! I’m tired of everyone expecting me to fist bump them over everything!

  33. I laughed out loud picturing a high five over opening a can of soda. It’s really funny if I imagine that a spectator, rather than the opener, initiates the high five. Nice post.

  34. I’m all for a high five. I gave one today at work because someone walked in wearing a U Miami sweatshirt. (Go Canes!) I’ve also been known to high five for a well-timed “that’s what she said.” I’ll leave my standards for other parts of my life, haha.

  35. High five on the entertaining post! 🙂

  36. thank you for making my evening

  37. I know exactly what you mean! It’s the same with me, everyone “high five”s everything in school. “I flunked my History test!” “OMG me too!” *high 5*

    Of course, I myself take part in this growing epidemic. It works for certain things, like when the prank you’re pulling off works perfectly. But not for everything. x)

  38. Anjeanette Alldredge

    “honestly people, have some standards for your high fives!” = hilarious! high fives = so five minutes ago.

  39. I loved this post.

    Personally, I LOATHE the “fist bump that turns into an explosion” thing people do with sound effects more than a high five. But I totally get where you’re coming from.

  40. Victoria

    love this.

  41. I thought the fist bump was the new “high five!” I enjoyed the blog.

  42. Edward Tomilloso

    Ha I totally loved this blog! I seriously pictured every scenario you described as if it were a movie playing in my head. High five! – I had to….
    You’ve been given a gift, and I’m glad you put it to use here

    -Edward Tomilloso
    http://www.therisingnetworker.com

  43. My friends used to do double high five then we slam our body to each other.

  44. This is so true, only where I work it is the ‘fist bumps’ as well, and no only is it annoying but it is also cheesy! I feel like a complete cheese ball doing it, especially with older men who I feel should not have the right to raise their fist in that manner unless they are doing something manly like punching someone/something. Lets rename these gestures to Cheese Five and Dumb Bump

  45. Emiko

    Amen to this. Don’t you also hate those high fives that are only meant to show off someone’s forced enthusiasm about anything and everything? Now THOSE are the ones you should leave hanging 🙂

  46. Ayush

    OMG! I’m afraid I’m one of the high5 obsessed people you just described. I am lucky enough to have instilled this obsession in all my ‘innocent’ sweetheart friends. As they say, “One bad apple spoils the bunch” 😉

  47. It’s really too good information dear
    thanks for the sharing

    Mercado Forex

  48. I immediately knew you were a girl. No offence!

  49. Thankfully they are not so common in my domain. I hate being false.

  50. I never knew high fives could be excessive to that extent. It sounds almost lame. Here, high fives are used mostly in moments of happy outburst, those that are really worthy of a tiny celebration.

    It’s a good move you’re making! High five! Oops.

  51. I didn’t know people were still doing high fives. I thought that went out in the 90’s.
    No handshakes either. Some people don’t wash their hands. Eww.
    Let’s just salute each other. Why should the military have all the fun and only certain people get respect?

  52. Great post! I had to laugh as I read it as it is so very true.

  53. Too funny! I totally relate. Every time I get “high fived” it’s an instant flashback to high school. Who wants to do that?

    Congrats on FP, & thanks for the Saturday Morning Smile. 🙂

  54. Neha

    I miss handshakes!!

  55. Mèo Lười Việt

    Maybe I have to be stricter about high five. Recently I have abused a bit! 😀

  56. Haha, yeeesss. I agree that there needs to be a little more cause and originality in celebrating small successes. My little brother and I do the “skin it” move from the movie “Stand By Me.”

  57. Generation 26

    I’m sadly one of those highfive for anything people lol

  58. The Compulsive Writer

    Here is a funny thing, and I was just thinking about this yesterday.

    There are a pair of doctors in my area who recently ran a commercial publicizing their new practice. I kid you not…the entire commercial was of them high five-ing each other as they made their way past the reception desk. They did this 3 or 4 times. Oh, then it ended with one of them in a self piloted plane saying some cornball statement about how cool they are (he said cool.) Seriously…I still have no idea what kind of medicine they practice. And do they not realize that hand to hand contact is the most common way to spread germs?

  59. You’re the Jerry Seinfeld in an office of Puddys!

  60. Phil

    No doubt, moderation is a virtue. But since teaching my 22 month old to give high-five’s, I’m afraid there is no turning back.

  61. I agree, high fives have gotten too over done. Some times it is like they NEED affirmation and they are coming to get one when nobody has offered one. Don’t go looking for what is not already there waiting for you.

  62. Ann

    A high five for an open soda? That is ridiculous. A high five is the equivalent of a verbal “Good job!” I think it’s sensible to bring your office back to society-at-large’s standards.

  63. I now prefer the fist bump to the high five. Even better to do the fist bump with the explosion.

  64. Flora, you make some excellent points here, but I wonder if the males in your office feel they need to make some inclusive contact with you and the butt pat was just a little over the top … ?

  65. Hm, I cannot remember the last time I was involved in a high-five… For that matter, even in US fiction they tend to be rare, and excessive users (e.g. the odd surgeon on Shrubs) are usually ridiculed. Could it be that this is custom local to your office?

  66. Agreed. High-fives are okay once in a while. I did a double high five the other day. I hadn’t high-fived in a while. Felt okay. Was a spur of the moment thing but couldn’t see myself doing that everyday.

  67. Aaron

    I use the high five more sarcastically or as a way to irritate those who irritate me. It makes no sense unless you are witness to the act.

  68. Hmmm… I think high fives are awesome. They make me happy. 🙂

  69. CM

    Adorable post. LOVE it.

  70. AnotherSheena

    Haha I love this. I actually left someone hanging yesterday, but didn’t realize until I saw the hurt look on her face.

  71. What about the fistbump? It is getting increasingly popular and tiny tots are high-fiving as well as fist-bumping!

  72. i’ve met guys who refuse to participate in high fives only only ‘fist bump’…hahah

  73. I sympathize. Usually for men, it’s the high five. For women, I’ve found that it’s hugging. (Are most of these high fives with males or females in the office?) I don’t know which is worse an unwanted hug or a high five over nothing.
    Either way, putting your foot down after years of compliance has got to be tough.
    Good luck.

  74. angie hottentots

    I always felt the high five was a sort of male thing, ya know. I know that this may sound a bit sexist but, to me, it’s something that’s brimming with testosterone and it looks unnatural when a woman does it.

  75. Alaina Mabaso

    Years ago I worked the holiday season in a retail. We had a manager fresh out of corporate managers’ training and he used to make his way from one end of the counter to the other, high-fiving each cashier as he passed. Sometimes he would appear at my side as I finished ringing a purchase. “Great job!” he’d bellow, and hold up his hand. I couldn’t ring up the next customer until I gave him a high five.

    Thank you for helping to bring the pain of the superfluous high five to light.

  76. My go-to fix for too many fives is to be the “way-too-hard-high-five-guy.” Start giving me too many high fives and I’ll reduce the soft tissue in your hand to a mushy, red pulp.

  77. nourishncherish

    Haa! The false elation – why is it everywhere? I finished sending that mail – yay! I wrote that script – yay! I finished scrubbing the desk yay!

    Sometimes I wonder whether we are undermining our true sense of achievement with all this unnecessary celebration.

  78. Kim

    lol… I totally had a failed high-five last night. We both missed…

  79. Tony McGurk

    I’d rather handshake. Hi Fives have just gotten too darn trendy

  80. Jon Michael

    I’d say the same things for hugs, but I love them too much.

  81. i love this!
    i’m not going to lie… i do enjoy participating in the hi-5…
    🙂
    xx

  82. lisa

    here’s a thought. Stick your hand straight out in front of you when responding to a high five while looking very sternly in the opposite direction. That way you’re really saying “talk to the hand” while the high 5-ing idiot things you’re high 5-ing him back. zing!

  83. Pingback: Gårdssang | My Blog

  84. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

    You MUST high five when the other person wants it. I would be devastated if I was left hanging! I can only imagine what your friends will go through.

    A high five is like a friendly smile to many people. You may not be thrilled about what a friend says or even be aware of the situation, but if he/she looks at you and smiles, you gotta do it back!

    From all regular high five-ers in the world, I request you to reconsider your decision.

  85. GRR, I agree with your observations regarding “excessive highy fiving”. I burst out laughing at>>”I refuse to high five over opening a can of soda successfully”. LOL Peace and Blessings. BTW, this just came to mind, “thumbs up” could also be a gesture that is used “excessively”. 😉

  86. ooops……highy…should read “high”. Sorry about that! LOL

  87. Well said! High five?? 🙂

  88. hahahaha!! Love it. you can blame the personal development industry for this excessive high-fiving nonsense. Try attending a PD seminar with a guru who shall remain un-named (dont want to get sued) and you will be high-fived till you go mad! Hard fives, soft fives, wet-fish fives and downright ‘in your face’ fives! Morning, noon and night! Mind you to be fair I did have a lot of fun!
    thanks for the smile and congrats on becoming ‘freshly pressed’
    Cindy
    @notjustagranny

  89. Pingback: Carousel [ Week 14, Year 2011 ] | Tamara Chetcuti

  90. As a children’s entertainer, I couldn’t work without the high five! In these day’s of having to be careful about physical contact between adults and children ( justifiably so) the high five is the most useful gesture left for me to allow children some degree of physical contact at their own pace.
    I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to ‘remove’ children from attempting to sit on my lap when I’m entertaining. When children like you it is natural for them to become affectionate. The high five allows children a vehicle to be affectionate, probably the only one left!
    I understand that in an office it can be irritating, if not a way of asserting some sort of machismo over fellow workers, but it is very welcome in my world of children’s parties.

  91. What about a fist bump instead?

  92. We could just start slapping eachother instead. Real hard across the face. With a soap opera flare. That might cut down on the indiscriminate high-5s.

  93. Love this. Some things just deserve a thumbs up. Ah, the thumbs up. Another lost art.

  94. LOL! I loved this! Just saw it on the dashboard as I was logging into my blog, and I’m definitely glad I clicked over to read it. Very funny stuff. I think high fives have become excessive and irrelevant as well. Borderline corny if ya asked me. I think it should be for sports and athletes only.

  95. S.C.Ragan

    Hahahaha, your post gave me a good laugh. Although, I have to admit I am guilty of the unnecessary high fiving. I think my friends and do it more so because it adds to the humor. That could possibly just be because we are a dorky bunch.

  96. It’s one of the most infamous so-called-cool gestures. Hi5’s would probably go down in history as one of the worst habits of the youth in the first decade of the 21st century.

  97. My friends think I’m crazy for only giving out high-fives when they’re really needed, about once a month or so. Glad to know I’m not totally alone.

  98. I don’t like shaking people’s hands, either. Why would I want to touch your sweaty palm and I don’t know if you washed your hands after you did whatever dirty action with them. I will fist bump you with no problem. Funny post.

  99. I hear ya. Its gotten to ridiculous lengths if there’s a high five over opening a soda. Must be pretty annoying. Just a thought, what ever happened to the low five? The local handshake here is a low five with a fist bump. So its still around. But I kinda like a solo low five here and there. Not to excess though

  100. Yeah, it’s just like that one Saturday Night Live sketch, where the guy has a five for every occasion. Some people just need to simmer down now!

  101. Sam Hailes

    Haha this is brilliant, and very true! Well done for making a stand lol

  102. I don’t understand the “baby” high fives. The parents say: “Give a 2 high five”..If you ask me its confusing the baby.

  103. Oh shoot, when I left high school and stopped greeting people with hugs I moved onto high fiving. I feel it’s a friendly way to say hi providing some contact without being as formal as a handshake, loosening the atmosphere, and not as touchy feel-y as a hug which could be disastrous, what if they refuse? what if they hug too long? what if I go for a side hug and they go for a full hug? No. A good high five is my favorite way of saying hey. In general, when high fives are abundant, everyone appears more at ease in a environment. But that’s just my experience with it.

  104. Fist bumping is just as bad but I agree, the High 5’s day has come and went.

  105. Julia

    I am with you on this one. I am pretty anti-high fives and personally hate the “too-slow” move.
    I figure if I’m going to give someone a high five it’d better be a big deal and then I’d rather one of those crazy complicate handshakes that make you feel like you’re in a secret club of some sort. That’s just my personal preference.
    So, right on! Withhold those high fives until they really mean something.

  106. Sammi Paige

    Ahhhh, so true. But in an office, it seems like it takes effort to keep the high spirits, well, high. So maybe your co-workers are still stuck in the primitive stages of greeting. Hang in there, they’ll evolve soon enough!

    -Sammi Paige Duggan ❤

  107. The high-five does not discriminate. It is the lowest form of physical contact. It’s even lower than accidentally bumping into someone or even exchanging eye contact. I’d rather have hot coffee spilled on me than high-five. At least those are moderately safe. While I hate the fist bump (it makes people look like gorillas in the jungle), it makes hygienic sense. This about this. The palm of your hand is the most disgusting part of your body. It touches doorknobs, it touches toilet flushing levers, genitals, subway poles, and other filthy surfaces, making high-fives (along with handshakes – especially with people who have clammy hands) the number one most disgusting form of physical contact. I wash my hand BEFORE and after I pee. I don’t know where my hands have been, or the objects they’ve touched have been. Head-nods and hugs, much safer.

  108. Arec

    My friends never used to high five me for anything when I raised my hand. Because they left me hanging all the damn time, I just don’t even think about it anymore. Whenever my co-workers try to raise their hands to high five me, I actually get confused me…

  109. You would get a kick out of the slightly dated Seattle comedy show Almost Live. They had an ongoing skit called the High Fiven’ White Guys. You can find well over a hundred Almost Live sketches on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQXqEAYHudQ.

  110. Nothing worse that a half-ass handshake, hate that. It is like, either shake my hand or don’t, but give it your 100% 🙂

  111. This perfectly exemplifies my feelings toward high fives. Well said.

  112. I think that people should not stick to one gesture for every ‘situation’. Better have a mix of handshakes, high-fives, nods, and waves for different times.

    It sure is awkward and ugly to see overacted high-fives.

  113. Mu husband burped tonight after drinking a can of pop and burped pretty loud. He is a pretty well-mannered guy so this surprised me! Instead of saying excuse me he smiled and put his hand up for a high five. I’m assuming he wanted some praise for his amazing burp, but I was not willing to give it!

  114. BahAhAhAhahhAhAHahaHHAHAhAHAHHAhAHAHHAHahAHhAHAHAHAH.

    Good post, dude.

  115. harlenehercules

    A great observation and so true!!! But then I had a thought, I actually LIKE a high five with added moves(you know the ones that look like a mini dance) to it. Having said that, it would be restricted to people who know each other well and are into sports of some sort. Somehow, I don’t think suit fabric has enough give in it. LOL!

  116. I agree with you. It pisses me off also. Here are some things that piss me off a lot: datboyfrosteh.wordpress.com

  117. Among ninjas, high fives come in the form of a united kick, considerably more difficult than the regular high five, but not as inflated in value as the usual high five, as you point out in your post. I come by this information because of the many ninja conferences I attend.

  118. High Five for such a great post! Oh wait! Um… never mind.

  119. superdayv

    ‘Liking’ something on Facebook is sort of the internet equivalent of a high five… it lets you interact with and congratulate someone even though you’re too lazy to string a few words together.

  120. Pingback: High 5? | Cindywoodwindy's Blog

  121. Well said! …er, written. & I agree. This is why I only exchange high-fives with those under 12. They appreciate it much more & see it as a fantastic reward. Luckily, my ‘office’ is crawling with the little buggers.

  122. I’ve been told if you look at a person’s elbow when you high-five, you never miss. It’s proved faultless thus far for me. 🙂

  123. Well-written, I was laughing my shoes off.
    And yes, what is the problem with high-fives, why are they getting more bothersome as they increase? 😀

  124. *high five* on being freshly pressed.

  125. Adorable. Thanks for a humorous and light-hearted start to the week.

  126. Can you high-five if you’ve only got four fingers?
    A good way to discourage high-fives: pick your nose a lot. Pick at your butt cheeks. Always convert the attempted high-five into a prolonged, sweaty hand-holding session. Make excessive eye contact enhanced with slow-motion lip licking and puckering. Pull the upraised hand to your heart and rub it while letting just the right amount of druel drain out the corners of your mouth. Or just miss and smack the moron in the face. And say “oops”

  127. LOL…. good for you- for sticking up for yourself. Never been much of a high-fiver… mortifying when you go for the hugh five (happened to me) and the other person was not expecting it…. and completely leaves you hanging… looking stupid with your one hand up in the air…. yeah, that has out me off high-fiveing (Sp??) altogether….

  128. i like this post .. .. .. .

  129. Haha. I agree. I’ve been giving half-hearted high fives all my life. The idea of having to high-five somebody appears very crude and usually the jokes accompanying the gesture appear even more so. /:

  130. Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂

  131. I agree. It is a pain when you have to high five someone even when you don’t agree with his ‘so called’ funny joke!

  132. Someone tried to high five me at my daughter’s soccer game on Saturday. I missed and almost hit her in the face.
    Obviously, I pass on high fives when possible, due to poor coordination.

  133. Amen to that, fun post 🙂

  134. Pingback: High-Five | The Truthe:

  135. I think it’s best to stick to handshakes. Gotta keep it real. Plus, you can tell a lot by a person’s handshake: Especially if they have weak, minky, sweaty fingers.

  136. Thanks so much for all the love on this post. I’m not gonna lie, when I saw how many people commented I started high fiving everyone around me. -Flora

  137. So well put! Now I’m left wondering if it would be appropriate to *high-five* you right now…better not!

    *fist bump*

    Thanks for keeping it real!

  138. I love this not-high-five-worthy post! Hysterical!
    And congrats on being freshly pressed–equally not high-five-able! That’s so yesterday!

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