Q: What do you get when you cross a multiracial children’s choir, sparkly mock turtlenecks and the only person Al Gore could have defeated in the 2004 Presidential election?
A: Oh the 2011 Academy Award snoozefest…
I wanted to like it but I just didn’t. Am I wrong here? There were way too many attempted moments lost on me to count, but I’ll try below:
1. Where was Ricky Gervais? (Waiting for Superman)
2. Can I get a redo starring Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin? (Hello Emmys)
3. Who was the hysterical old guy with the cane who presented Melissa Leo with her Supporting Actress award and why was he not given more airtime? (#Viagra)
4. The sexual tension between Justin Timberlake aka Banksy and Mila Kunis is killing me. Loved her dress btw.
5. Those were the 4 best songs of the year – REALLY?
6. Was I the only one left wondering where the cast of Glee was during all this? (See number 2)
7. Props to Rachel Zoe who kept me watching, it didn’t matter what Anne or Franco had to say, because it wasn’t much, just give me more dresses, k thanks.
8. Producers sink to new low with Franco in drag and a random autotune remix of Ron Weasley and Jacob without a shirt (fyi – Twilight was not nominated and this is not the MTV movie awards or is it?).
9. Um did I just blink and see Obama on the screen?! (And the Oscar in editing goes to…)
10. The King’s Speech speech playing over all the nominee clips – pretty much took the guessing out of anything. Booorrrringgg. Like when Natalie Portman told us who the father was.
11. 5th Graders singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow”. Hello Cheese, Cheesy, Cheeseballs and Firey Hot Cheetos. Can I get hot sauce on those?
12. Oh yeah, my madelines were fucking incredible. Night y’all.